Lt. Benito Tecumseh Pain

[General Pain]

The General Pain Landshrimp Company

Well to save our future and solve the food problem, General Pain anounces his newest concept.

(I can see I have misspelled....damn paint-shit-appz)

[headquarters]

Well to save our future and solve the food problem, General Pain anounces his newest concept.

(I can see I have misspelled....damn paint-shit-appz)

yummi.

landshrimp...

[Rupert Willies]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA


That's funny, general! LOL

[headquarters]

flavours

Well to save our future and solve the food problem, General Pain anounces his newest concept.

(I can see I have misspelled....damn paint-shit-appz)

please elaborate as to what flavours and in what form the landshrimp is offered

also a recipe or two will be appreciated .

[General Pain]

please elaborate as to what flavours and in what form the landshrimp is offered

also a recipe or two will be appreciated .

Landshrimp Powder with added Spices - Mustard/Salt/Oregano/Pepper
Landshrimp Pie
Landshrimp on a stick

[Rupert Willies]

Landshrimp Powder with added Spices - Mustard/Salt/Oregano/Pepper
Landshrimp Pie
Landshrimp on a stick

Where do you get the Oregano and pepper from Nothing much grows these days...

[headquarters]

Landshrimp

You cant offer landshrimp in pies (requires flour) or flavoured with mustard or oregano unless you have a supply of said ingredients .

You can offer

powderd landshrimp with salt -to be mixed into other dishes as a protein supllement or mixed with oil or water and fried to make landshrimp balls

whole landshrimped that has been roasted,grilled,fried,boiled,sauteed etc - also with salt


as Willis said - pay attention - there is almost nothing growing ...

[General Pain]

point taken

well oregano and mustard grows in the wilds in CA - especially mustard (everywhere) - mustart-and salt are the ingredients I'll go for for the moment

[headquarters]

ahem

well oregano and mustard grows in the wilds in CA - especially mustard (everywhere) - mustart-and salt are the ingredients I'll go for for the moment

STILL not paying quite enough attention :

NOTHING IS GROWING AT THE MOMENT.

ITS COLD

THERE IS A HAZE OF RADIOACTIVE SOOT HAMPERING THE PHOTOSYNTHEZIS

THERE IS RADIATION IN THE WATER;THE SOIL AND SOMETIMES FALLOUT IN THE AIR.

Anything that doesnt GROW is what you can go for ingredients wise -unless you have a stockpile of it .

GRANTED : mustard is a seed that probably keeps for a while - A limited batch of already withered mustard plant seeds can be scrounged up for the one time only landshrimp mustard delight ala mode Francaise -limited offer only ! Supplies wont last for long ! Get yours now !
(Actual delight content may vary)

[headquarters]

Champagne and caviar

EUREKA SEPT.26th + 7 C*

[I]Standing in front of his bathroom mirror, General Pain was humming to himself as he shaved.Carmina Burana didnt hum well,but years of practice had thaugt him to save something for the finale .He was pretty pleased by his result .

Steam from the hot runing water -maybe one of the last working faucets in the western hemisphere, was condensing on the mirror making it impossible to see."Damn it!" he said aloud .When were they gonna come up with a non fogging mirror Or did they have one already .He grabbed his radio set ,always by his side and yelled into the mike .

"Graveyard,graveyard this is the Ferryman over"

A static hiss .

"Graveyard-this is Ferryman over !"

"This is graveyard -over" .The voice sounded nervous ."Listen here graveyard -I need you to run something down for me " .Even if they hadnt answered right away he was in too good a mood for any court marshalls to night ."This is Ferryman -I need you to find out if there is such a thing as a non-fog mirror ,do you copy "

"Graveyard here -a non -fog mirror Sir In regards to what operation "
"This is the Ferryman ! Enough with the questions .I expect a report on my desk by 0800 hrs tomorrow.Ferryman out!".

He wiped the rest of the shaving foam off his chin and put his shirt on .Outsidethe bathroom door ,on its stand stood his representation armour in a spiffy black and gold plate over black kevlar .No reason not to be in tactical gear even if he was going out .On the other hand ,no excuse for looking unkempt either .After all he had a reputation to maintain .The biggest and baddest warlord on American soil -ever- going to a social function not looking like an evil overlord That wouldnt do !Anyways-he had missed wearing this particular armour after his PR consultants had gone against his plans to declare himslef a God -King and the armours and gear that he had prepared for his divinity had to be stowed.He snickered a little at the idea ,and downed a glass of Brandy that sat on the wash basin .

Still humming he strapped on a polished black leather belt and checked the chamber of the PainTek .666 not quite regulation sidearm.He had customized himself .Stainless nickle finish,match trigger,heavy,ported barrel and bevelled mag well.It was a nice gun -among his better work .He slid the heavy armour over his head and fastned the buckles .There were alot of them and they had to be fitted just right or the armour would look all slapdash on him .He poured himself a prewar whiskey and posed for the mirror.The old armour still fitted .The cape to go with it had a minor spot on it just below the wolf fur collar -he doubted very much that anyone would have the courage to stare long enough to notice it -let alone mention such a thing .

The invitation on his desk was for General Pain alone .But he had bought a few more invitations for some of his men to join the crowd in undercover attire ."better safe than sorry" he mumbled and poured him self another one .Damn things were gone before you knew it !
He looked into the picnic bag he had had prepared by his quartermaster.
The list on top of the contents had been checked with a red marker .It read :

2x bottles Bollinger (any vintage - or some Veuve Cliquot if not )
He had gotten the Veuve Cliquot .
3 cans of Iranian caviar and some of those crackers you know I like
1x Mac Ingram M-11 cal .45 w 4 mags- loaded.
1 bottle single malt -maybe a Glen Garioch if we havnt run out
Cutlery for 5 people
20 tabs certified Antibiotics for gambling
napkins

Well pleased he used the note to light a cigar .The taste wasnt quite as he had expected .Hmm..Dominican .Oh-well.They were pretty much just as good really in his secret opinion.
He would be damned if he was goingto mingle with a lot of redneck refugees and drink the fermented piss they got drunk on when he could just bring his own .

After all-what was a death match if not accompanied by Champagne and caviar

[General Pain]

EUREKA SEPT.26th + 7 C*

[I]Standing in front of his bathroom mirror, General Pain was humming to himself as he shaved.Carmina Burana didnt hum well,but years of practice had thaugt him to save something for the finale .He was pretty pleased by his result .

Steam from the hot runing water -maybe one of the last working faucets in the western hemisphere, was condensing on the mirror making it impossible to see."Damn it!" he said aloud .When were they gonna come up with a non fogging mirror Or did they have one already .He grabbed his radio set ,always by his side and yelled into the mike .

"Graveyard,graveyard this is the Ferryman over"

A static hiss .

"Graveyard-this is Ferryman over !"

"This is graveyard -over" .The voice sounded nervous ."Listen here graveyard -I need you to run something down for me " .Even if they hadnt answered right away he was in too good a mood for any court marshalls to night ."This is Ferryman -I need you to find out if there is such a thing as a non-fog mirror ,do you copy "

"Graveyard here -a non -fog mirror Sir In regards to what operation "
"This is the Ferryman ! Enough with the questions .I expect a report on my desk by 0800 hrs tomorrow.Ferryman out!".

He wiped the rest of the shaving foam off his chin and put his shirt on .Outsidethe bathroom door ,on its stand stood his representation armour in a spiffy black and gold plate over black kevlar .No reason not to be in tactical gear even if he was going out .On the other hand ,no excuse for looking unkempt either .After all he had a reputation to maintain .The biggest and baddest warlord on American soil -ever- going to a social function not looking like an evil overlord That wouldnt do !Anyways-he had missed wearing this particular armour after his PR consultants had gone against his plans to declare himslef a God -King and the armours and gear that he had prepared for his divinity had to be stowed.He snickered a little at the idea ,and downed a glass of Brandy that sat on the wash basin .

Still humming he strapped on a polished black leather belt and checked the chamber of the PainTek .666 not quite regulation sidearm.He had customized himself .Stainless nickle finish,match trigger,heavy,ported barrel and bevelled mag well.It was a nice gun -among his better work .He slid the heavy armour over his head and fastned the buckles .There were alot of them and they had to be fitted just right or the armour would look all slapdash on him .He poured himself a prewar whiskey and posed for the mirror.The old armour still fitted .The cape to go with it had a minor spot on it just below the wolf fur collar -he doubted very much that anyone would have the courage to stare long enough to notice it -let alone mention such a thing .

The invitation on his desk was for General Pain alone .But he had bought a few more invitations for some of his men to join the crowd in undercover attire ."better safe than sorry" he mumbled and poured him self another one .Damn things were gone before you knew it !
He looked into the picnic bag he had had prepared by his quartermaster.
The list on top of the contents had been checked with a red marker .It read :

2x bottles Bollinger (any vintage - or some Veuve Cliquot if not )
He had gotten the Veuve Cliquot .
3 cans of Iranian caviar and some of those crackers you know I like
1x Mac Ingram M-11 cal .45 w 4 mags- loaded.
1 bottle single malt -maybe a Glen Garioch if we havnt run out
Cutlery for 5 people
20 tabs certified Antibiotics for gambling
napkins

Well pleased he used the note to light a cigar .The taste wasnt quite as he had expected .Hmm..Dominican .Oh-well.They were pretty much just as good really in his secret opinion.
He would be damned if he was goingto mingle with a lot of redneck refugees and drink the fermented piss they got drunk on when he could just bring his own .

After all-what was a death match if not accompanied by Champagne and caviar

I'm sooooooo there.........priceless....Veuve Cliquot is actually one of my favourite champagnes...especially the Grand Dame vintage...mmmmmm

(24,95 euros pr glass at KaDeWe)

...as my mother says....life is too short to drink bad red wine.....

[General Pain]

General Pain - anno 2018

Drawn by FMDeCorba

[General Pain]

Recruiting...

HOW DOES MY RECRUITING EFFORTS GO

I PAY IN FOOD - Bonuses for bravery and valor.

Typical Slogans
"Tired of eating dung - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Out of work Tired of a unsure future - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"People disrespect you - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Can you handle orders - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Hungry - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Want revenge over NDP - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"NDP killed my family but now I have a chance for revenge - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Can't protect your family - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"

[headquarters]

New recruits arrive

HOW DOES MY RECRUITING EFFORTS GO

I PAY IN FOOD - Bonuses for bravery and valor.

Typical Slogans
"Tired of eating dung - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Out of work Tired of a unsure future - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"People disrespect you - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Can you handle orders - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Hungry - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Want revenge over NDP - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"NDP killed my family but now I have a chance for revenge - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"
"Can't protect your family - Join General Pain's California Freedom Force"

Your relentless efforts finally pay off , and over the next week a steady trickle of recruits that are found suitable pour into your Eureka recruitment and training facility .

100 new recruits - experienced level . ( INITIATIVE 3 )

[General Pain]

Your relentless efforts finally pay off , and over the next week a steady trickle of recruits that are found suitable pour into your Eureka recruitment and training facility .

100 new recruits - experienced level . ( INITIATIVE 3 )

about time....hehe

fett