Full Disclosure

[spielmeister]

Kato,

Pardon this post if I'm just coming out of the blue like this but real-life concerns have kept me away for too long. I'm just catching up on the posts in the forums at this point.

Kato, I don't think I'll be remiss in saying that these forums have become a home for many of us. If we've got a home here where we can be ourselves, recharge our energies, learn more, and generally just be in the company of like-minded decent people, we have a lot to thank you for. Your efforts gave us this home - and it's a great service you've done for all of us.

I'm experiencing a bit of a trying time now as well in the family and I sympathize with what you are going through. Hang in there my friend, and we're here for you anytime you need us.

Spielmeister

[Caradhras]

Cognito Ergo Doleo - 'I think, therefore I suffer' (or am depressed, depending on your translation). Kind of a reversal of 'Ignorance is bliss'.

I have been on the edge of my sanity at times, medically not just an expression, but have never quite got to the worst cases and feel for those examples given here.

My point, although already made, is that for me RPGs and all that are associated with them (such as this forum) have been my biggest saviour. Escapism, yes - and because of this I believe it has kept me from the worst. To be able to have like-minded friends and get away from the demons of modern life on a regular basis.

[General Pain]

Kato,

Pardon this post if I'm just coming out of the blue like this but real-life concerns have kept me away for too long. I'm just catching up on the posts in the forums at this point.

Kato, I don't think I'll be remiss in saying that these forums have become a home for many of us. If we've got a home here where we can be ourselves, recharge our energies, learn more, and generally just be in the company of like-minded decent people, we have a lot to thank you for. Your efforts gave us this home - and it's a great service you've done for all of us.

I'm experiencing a bit of a trying time now as well in the family and I sympathize with what you are going through. Hang in there my friend, and we're here for you anytime you need us.

Spielmeister

I totally agree Spielmeister .

[Dog 6]

I had a much more strongly worded rant (It actually contained two uses of the F word) to the DC canon thread, but even though it contained the line

"See right now my brain is attempting to add my usual tact to this post now and it disgusts me that I would still even waste the time and energy it takes."

I was still overtaken by my internal desire for tact and civility so I deleted it and started this post.

Ok full disclosure because you guys deserve it.

I have for the last year been dealing with the continuing descent of a loved one into mental illness. While there have been periods of stabilization IMO the situation has continued to trend downward. As you can imagine this is an unbelievably taxing on me.

For a time this place was my oasis. Until one poster (whom I feel was motivated by personal animosity) decided to take things too far. To be honest I had already lost respect for that poster (which was a first on this board) in a previous discussion, so my feelings towards this poster are not from a knee-jerk defense of anyone.

I could have simply banned that one user (and lord knows I considered it), but my own internal code would rather push my own sanity to the brink than use that heavy handed form of censorship.

I tried (after much soul searching) with the Canon thread to remove a weapon that poster was using and which had driven away posters who were both prolific and still had my respect. It was not to elevate them to some sort of god status nor to say their work was "better" than any others. An imperfect solution, but something I hoped would bring peace and bring back several users from exile.

The fact my canon declaration has apparently driven away one of the posters I have the greatest respect for, wounds me even further. I'm actually tearing up as I type this (hey I said full disclosure)

Simply put due to massive drains on me physically, mentally and emotionally from my real world issues, I simply cannot waste any energy on fighting over what in the end is just fiction and a game.

In the "strongly worded" post I mentioned above, I was ready to walk away completely from this place. This post proves that deep down I don't want to do that. However I may have more long periods of absence if I feel I just can't take it any more.

I feel bad for the ultimatum but if you want me around, play as nice as you can. It is really that simple. As a man I hate admitting weakness, but I simply don't have the reserves in me to fight hard for this place right now. Other more important things need my attention and energy.

Felt you guys deserved the full unvarnished truth.

kato

I'm sorry about your family illness, hope he or she is better soon.


kato this I must say, having been a "mod" before I don't support censorship BUT this is your site and if one guy is causing you this much pain then please give him/her the boot. I want you around, you've helped me a lot when others blew me off and you've done one hell of a good job. last I'd like to say if you leave I leave.

[Grimace]

Stay strong, kato. Situations like what you're going through are never easy on those involved on both sides of the illness. Be patient...it's a long, long haul. Here's hoping it has a better outcome than what is currently happening.

And make sure you talk with others that you trust about it. Don't keep it bottled up for your own sake.

There are those who visit here who would gladly and readily stand-in as a temporary for you during this tough time in your life. Perhaps choosing one would help alleviate one troublesome thought so you can focus more on the important things in your life.