Another falls due to Agent Orange...

[weswood]

Sorry to hear this. He sounds like a hell of a man.

[Jason Weiser]

My deepest condolences, your dad was the man a lot of wish we were.

[atiff]

and i cant help but feel that it's my fault.

Nate,

We all make choices, and our choices always have consequences (good and bad). We make those choices based on the info we have at the time. We should never judge a choice on the outcome, only on whether it was a good choice with the info we had at the time it was made.

What's done is done, and no-one can change that. So take it easy on yourself. Be who you need to be, and move forward.

Hope that helps,
Andrew

[natehale1971]

Nate,

We all make choices, and our choices always have consequences (good and bad). We make those choices based on the info we have at the time. We should never judge a choice on the outcome, only on whether it was a good choice with the info we had at the time it was made.

What's done is done, and no-one can change that. So take it easy on yourself. Be who you need to be, and move forward.

Hope that helps,
Andrew

Thank you Andrew. it does. My mom keeps telling me that dad didn't blame me, but respected the fact i had so much blind faith in Emma when it happened. That he knew that I loved her so much. And that I didn't do anything out of malice, but out of love. It still hurts, because i still hear dad saying that he'd never get to see Zachary again... and I swore to him that I wouldn't let that happen. I had to eat alot of shit to get pictures of the boys... and he never got to see them. He didn't wake up and see them. Mom said that she sat beside him and described the pictures. and that he got to see the boys before I will. and Emma can't keep dad away from them now. No matter what, she can't stop him from seeing them now.

[natehale1971]

My deepest condolences, your dad was the man a lot of wish we were.

My friends and family, especially those at church have been saying that he and I are so much like. At one time, I would have taken it as an insult. but now, i don't know if they are right. We both have done the same things, we both have always been taking photographs were ever we went. He taped the church sermons when I was little, and I'm now video taping them for my church and using my digital camera to take pictures of everyone during services. My friends from the service have been reminding me of the lives I've saved, and the fact i have measured up to my dad. But he had a wife who loved him, and wouldn't abandon him when he was at his worse. she took him to all of his doctors appointments at the VAMC down in Columbia, SC and Rock Hill, SC. She was more than willing to take him to Augusta, GA for appointments to get to the bottom of why the ulcers on his legs just wouldn't go away. She stood by dad right up to the end, and we're both so hurt by his passing. We call each other at least once a day and end up in tears because we'll end up mentioning something that dad should see or would need to get done.
I'm sorry for rambling.. we just weren't ready for this. We Spakes live into our 80s and 90s, and he was only 64.

[Rainbow Six]

My condolences on your loss.

[kato13]

Nate please accept my most sincere condolences. He sounds like a great man.

-Michael

[natehale1971]

He was. Growing up, it felt like i wasn't the kind of son he wanted. it was only during the past few years that I learned how proud of me he was. and that he didn't blame the situation with Emma on me, and the look on his face when he saw me wasn't disappointment. but he could see how much loosing my sons was killing me, and it was killing him too. mom said that dad was always talking about trying to find a way to get the money to help me get over to see the boys, or even try to find a lawyer. but their funds are just as limited as my own.

[Webstral]

So very sorry to hear the news. Your dad... Words can't express.

Webstral

[Mahatatain]

Sorry to hear of your loss.

[JimmyRay73]

My condolences for your loss. Your father sounds like he was a hell of a guy and his accomplishments will live on for quite a long time.

[Ivan]

Sorry for your loss.

[Snake Eyes]

Condolences, dude. I lost an uncle to complications stemming from Vietnam-era dioxin exposure many years ago who endured the same VA bullshit. Fucking tragic we treat our heroes that way. Your old man sounds like a hell of a guy. I hope his memory remains strong. He passed at just one year older than my father is now and I'm not sure where I'd be without him. I am sorry for your loss.

[Nowhere Man 1966]

Sorry for your loss, Nate. It shows we need to take much better care of our vets than we currently do.

A side note, I lost my grandmother in September, she was 95. There went my last link to the Great Depression. My parents were alive towards the end of it, but they were just babies then. No matter what, it is hard losing the ones you love.

Chuck

P.S. - It is a shame we are losing as lot of the Great Generation from World War II. I know a guy in his mid to late 80's who still works at the smoke counter of a supermarket. He just bought a new car even. He had some health issues including lung cancer but it seems he's doing OK and hopefully will be for a long time. He was on Tinian the day they loaded the atomic bomb into the Enola Gay. He remember seeing the plane with the tarp underneath it, he was less than 100 yards away from it. He remember them taking off and when they landed, he served Col. Tibbits in the officer's club where Tibbits kept saying, "what have we done" He also remembers Brock's Car too for Nagasaki. He was trained after the war as a meat cutter and even at his age, the store was trying to pressure him into working full time to cut meat since they were having trouble finding meat cutters, but he refused.

When you think about it, there are only a handful of WWI vets still alive.