OT - Friday funny stuff

[LT. Ox]

Sick humor

I must tell you that is the wors.......... Ah hell I go to have some integrity
I love it

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[swaghauler]

Just in time for Christmas.
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Some constructive criticism here. You need to make a couple of changes but as a "machinegun tourist" I'll still take two tickets.

The first change you have to make is to move the Captain's .50 caliber machineguns down to the rail. There are at least a dozen Class 3 Gun Rental dealerships that will let you do a "mad minute" on a .50 or a minigun so this isn't enough of a "treat" to merit a "Captain's Gun Mount."

I'd suggest dual 40mm Bofors Autocannon. These are rare enough to be a true "treat" for a "machinegun tourist" (Knob Creek is the only place I've ever seen this offered to the public). You could do TWO mounts, one for the "Captain's Crew" and the other headed by a "Featured Entertainer" headlining on the cruise (for some reason Ted Nugent comes to mind immediately). They could compete to see who sinks a pirate "Mothership" first.

[swaghauler]

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I just watched Air America again (after MANY YEARS) and this post kind of reminds me of the opening scene with the farmer and his Mosin. ONE SHOT and he downs a C130.

Who could ever forget the "Golden BB"

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[pmulcahy11b]

I just watched Air America again (after MANY YEARS) and this post kind of reminds me of the opening scene with the farmer and his Mosin. ONE SHOT and he downs a C130.

Who could ever forget the "Golden BB"

That reminds me of one of the early scenes in Flight of the Intruder (and in the book) where the hero's A-6 goes flying by over a rice paddy, low but fast, and a farmer with some ancient rifle (didn't even look as "new" as a Mosin-Nagant) took a pot shot and hits the WSO in the head...

[StainlessSteelCynic]

That reminds me of one of the early scenes in Flight of the Intruder (and in the book) where the hero's A-6 goes flying by over a rice paddy, low but fast, and a farmer with some ancient rifle (didn't even look as "new" as a Mosin-Nagant) took a pot shot and hits the WSO in the head...

Harry Turtledove uses the same idea in one of the books of his Worldwar series (maybe he took inspiration from Flight of the Intruder), someone takes a shot using their mid-20th Century rifle at one of the alien aircraft and shoots it down. The pilot finds it quite surprising because he believed in the total superiority of the alien tech compared to the tech of the "primitive" humans.
It goes on to say something like a low chance of success does not equal no chance for success. So yeah, while it's improbable, it is not impossible... which is seems to be the exact reason that we used to be taught to mass fire our (at the time, 7.62mm NATO) rifles at enemy aircraft if they were attacking us.

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[pmulcahy11b]

Who could ever forget the "Golden BB"

Just as long as you don't get hit by a Golden Bullet. Totally different, and infinitely worse...

[swaghauler]

So True! A more accurate representation of how different MOS fields are treated in the US military.

https://youtu.be/bQPtWrK145w

[swaghauler]

had to laugh at this one too. Uncle Sam has you Neo!

https://youtu.be/Cx68nNy9WPk

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The President is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
'Hallo, Mr. President !' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you! We voted to reject the Lisbon treaty!'
'Well Paddy, Mr. President replied. How big is your army'
'Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eleven!'
Mr. President paused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'
'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. President, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'
'And what equipment would that be Paddy' Mr. President asks.
'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'
Mr. President sighs amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'
'Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.'
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. President , the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'
Mr. President was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided,surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'
'Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. President ! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'
Really I am sorry to hear that,' says Mr. President . 'Why the sudden change of heart'
'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and packets of crisps, and we decided there is no f****n' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.'