OT: An Oh Neat! moment

[Adm.Lee]

I was most appalled when one of my ROTC classmates essentially flunked the map-reading section of our first year. It seemed simple enough to me....

Then, that same week, we were watching some Vietnam War flick at the theater (Platoon Hamburger Hill), and sure enough, there was a butterbar screwing up calling fire.... I just had to nudge someone in the ribs. Boy, did he glare at me!

[Legbreaker]

The scariest thing I've seen didn't involve any officers.

Several people in my explosives module failed the theory test even though the instructors had been using the actual exam paper for "example revision questions" for the previous two days.
A day later, after the instructors again used the retest paper for their "example" questions, several still failed...

How dumb do you have to be to fail a test when you've already had the answers given to you!

:O

[headquarters]

yes Tigger

HQ, that explains a lot!

To be read in posh nasal voice :

I AM A RUPERT.OR WAS RATHER .

[headquarters]

well..

I'd rather have the trenchfoot

P.S. What is the difference between a 2nd Lt and an E2 (US Military pay grade) private........

The private has been promoted once

looking from the other end of the scale ,there are always 10 % of the guys in the platoon that take up 90% of your attention.

In my defense I did serve as a corporal AND a seargent before getting my commission.

[TiggerCCW UK]

In my defense I did serve as a corporal AND a seargent before getting my commission.

How did they lure you to the dark side

[headquarters]

hehe

How did they lure you to the dark side

It doesnt work like that in our army .

You dont get to do 6 months and there you are a 2nd LT all ready to boss about some NCOs and a bunch of squaddies 10 yrs your senior both in age and in the biz.

With us you do 1 or 2 year NCO school -half of wich is practising what you know at a domesticially based unit with conscripts.You then end up with either a Sgt. rank if you did the 1 year school were you served as a corporal , or as a 2nd Lt if you did the 2 year school were you served as a sgt .

You can then apply for commissions as a 2nd Lt etc in the overseas/international ops or in our Nationally based forces around the country .

Also the divide between the rank and file and the officers is different .

Our conscription army has the same divide as you other people out there with the officers /NCOs separated in their own mess for meals etc etc .(The officers get paid too).

But in the international ops its more of an all ranks set up where everyone share pretty much the same conditions .

So in short - most commissions were for officers -wanted to work in the forces you had to get one .This is changing now though ,wit ha greater number of grenadiers - paid volunteers that enlist after conscription- and a move away from our good old peoples army set up.

[Earthpig]

Rank is no clear indication of idiocy.

I had an NCO throw a box of non electric blasting caps to me once......Idiot!

I had an Lt. start to go north instead of south..... which wasn't too bad if we weren't near the DMZ in Korea

I had a Sgt. standing on a non electric blasting cap that was taped off to 800+ lbs. of Amatol charges......because he didn't want the shrapnel from the cap
(if it accidently went off) to hurt anybody......there would not have been enough left of the platoon to sponge up let alone get hit with shrapnel

[Legbreaker]

I had an NCO throw a box of non electric blasting caps to me once......Idiot!

I had an Lt. start to go north instead of south..... which wasn't too bad if we weren't near the DMZ in Korea

I had a Sgt. standing on a non electric blasting cap that was taped off to 800+ lbs. of Amatol charges......because he didn't want the shrapnel from the cap
(if it accidently went off) to hurt anybody......there would not have been enough left of the platoon to sponge up let alone get hit with shrapnel

And that's why I tried to steer well clear of American soliders.....



Anyone got caught even THINKING about doing anything as stupid as throwing or standing on detonators would find themselves laying on their backs with the air knocked out of their lungs and two seconds later be up on a charge.

[Mohoender]

The French like to think that US troops are often the most dum (A popular saying states that the best way to survive an american bombing is to stang right on top the target) but our army is far from exempt of stupid behaviors.

My best friend had reached the rank of "Caporal Chef" (I don't know what it would be in US) in the artillery. He was assigned to driving trucks with artillery pieces behind. The only problem with this is that I know how he drive and that he failed his three attempt at getting a driving licence. The army refused to deliver him a truck diving (hum! driving, but in his case...) licence as well during his service. That might not be impressive but at least three trucks broke down under him.

The worse was during my service. One of the soldiers in the other company had a problem with his MAT-49 (Yes I have never seen a FAMAS). Wisely he raised his hand and turned his weapon toward his comrades standing at his left. Of course, the trigger went on: 1 dead and 3 wounded (including the commanding sergeant). Following that I always paid attention to whom I had on the left and on the right during an exercise. Actually, we quicly constituted a small group that could be trusted and sticked with eachother.

Another thing involved a kid that was in my section. He was 18, had just dropped out of Disney, and quickly started to think about suicide. We prevented that to happen (warning the sergeant who sincirely liked us after that). Saddly, he was (of course) assigned to the armory and three month later I received word of his death (he had blown his head of).

The last one is very different as it is the most striking method I ever heard of to avoid military service. A huge large black guy had been incorporated at my air base (a few months before I get there myself). As soon as the guy arrived he picked a sergeant and punched him hard (sending him to the hospital for three weeks ). The base Gendarmerie was called in (at least two ended in the hospital next to the sergeant ) and the guy was put into custody. An officer came in to escort him to the colonel and ended in the next hospital bed . Hearing that, the colonel chose not to see the guy and he was sent directly to a disciplinary Fusco Battalion (Fusillier Commando that are in charge of base protections). As soon as he got there, he sent three men (inluding a veteran adjudant) in their own hospital . Of course, he ended up in jail again but a week later was thrown out of the army, becoming a civilian again (don't forget that this was a time of conscription).

[headquarters]

generalizing

And that's why I tried to steer well clear of American soliders.....



Anyone got caught even THINKING about doing anything as stupid as throwing or standing on detonators would find themselves laying on their backs with the air knocked out of their lungs and two seconds later be up on a charge.

&To follow up on that joke I had an american FIST team with me on an inspection of Serb caches at an VRS base outside Derventa -the place was stacked with AT mines in crates ,shells,boxes of rifle grenades etc etc

by the door a dud M72 type - cannot remember the Yugoslav nomenclature - it was opened and extended and this US sgt picked it up and rattled it ,turning it up and down etc to "check it out "- there were atleast 10 tons of TNT app . 3 feet and 1/2 inch of plywood away.I told him to put it down INSTANTLY - but it didnt register,I then told his 2nd LT that the piezo electrical element that ignites the charge in the rpg is among the most unstable ignition dvices known as soon as the safety is removed -and that we were in a stacked explosives warehouse .(The Serbs were chattering nervously ,shaking their hands warningly etc ,backing up and what not -they would have had to back up for a full 5 minutes to survive).

He told me not to worry .The sgt was "an expert ".

I told them both to get the F*** out .(both shaking their heads at my unreasonability )

I mean -it really isnt the amount of explosives rather than who is handling them ...
Seriously - there are some like this in severy army ,but logically enough ,their time is often limited

[TiggerCCW UK]

In a similar vein with stupid soldiers I heard about a fun one involving Mil Int here in NI in the early '80s. Apparently some of the green slime had discovered that if you thumb cocked the hammer on a Browning 9mm without chambering a round it would shoot pencils across the room. Some of the MI's had been playing around in the office like this when one of their colleagues walked in and decided to join in the fun. He drew his 9milly, racked the slide, dropped a pencil down the barrel and shot his mate through the arm with a 9mm and an HB pencil.

[jester]

In a similar vein with stupid soldiers I heard about a fun one involving Mil Int here in NI in the early '80s. Apparently some of the green slime had discovered that if you thumb cocked the hammer on a Browning 9mm without chambering a round it would shoot pencils across the room. Some of the MI's had been playing around in the office like this when one of their colleagues walked in and decided to join in the fun. He drew his 9milly, racked the slide, dropped a pencil down the barrel and shot his mate through the arm with a 9mm and an HB pencil.

And that is why you don't let Intel Types play with real weapons!

Seriously when I did one op in the Desert we had an Army Intel coupled with a Kuwaiti type attatched to us. We saw them take their M16s out of the plastic. And it still had that nice new M16 smell they had no clue how to operate their issue weapons, that was the first time they had handled them out of the wrapper.

As for stupid officer tricks:

Lt at Infantry Training Battallion tries to grab a mortar round he let slip from his hand and go down the tube. He only lost a portion of his middle finger.

Lt. who tries to read a compass in the back of a Duece and a Half, while getting good body alignment holding the compass centerline, while he has bandoliers of ammo and grenades slung across his body ala John Wayne. No surprise we were lost for half the night. Then again that was the norm for that officer. thankfully we always knew where we were should the need arise if/when we needed to get unlost fast.

Lt. Calls for artillery fire on our pos as we break contact. We then withdraw through a mine field! Briliant leadership! As for the rounds out, his piss poor map skills saved us as we didn't even see or hear the impacts! I did speak with some of the canon crews a few months later who remembered the mission.

Captain takes a HQ element on a forced march <never force your HQ types especialy marching they just can't do it!> Ends up in an impact zone and now they have to double time out. LOVELY!

Ah yes, I am sure we can sit back and discuss the insanely stupid antics of officers all night, maybe we should compile out stories into a book, it would make a fortune!

Hmmmm, now I am toying with a character concept of a totaly messed up officer who just can't seem to do anything right, but somehow luck always saves his men.

[headquarters]

hheheh

in the adventure - dont forget that the officer is constantly promoted and the cmdr favourite due to his gung ho attitude and insane lack of self insight

ranger chant !!etc

And that is why you don't let Intel Types play with real weapons!

Seriously when I did one op in the Desert we had an Army Intel coupled with a Kuwaiti type attatched to us. We saw them take their M16s out of the plastic. And it still had that nice new M16 smell they had no clue how to operate their issue weapons, that was the first time they had handled them out of the wrapper.

As for stupid officer tricks:

Lt at Infantry Training Battallion tries to grab a mortar round he let slip from his hand and go down the tube. He only lost a portion of his middle finger.

Lt. who tries to read a compass in the back of a Duece and a Half, while getting good body alignment holding the compass centerline, while he has bandoliers of ammo and grenades slung across his body ala John Wayne. No surprise we were lost for half the night. Then again that was the norm for that officer. thankfully we always knew where we were should the need arise if/when we needed to get unlost fast.

Lt. Calls for artillery fire on our pos as we break contact. We then withdraw through a mine field! Briliant leadership! As for the rounds out, his piss poor map skills saved us as we didn't even see or hear the impacts! I did speak with some of the canon crews a few months later who remembered the mission.

Captain takes a HQ element on a forced march <never force your HQ types especialy marching they just can't do it!> Ends up in an impact zone and now they have to double time out. LOVELY!

Ah yes, I am sure we can sit back and discuss the insanely stupid antics of officers all night, maybe we should compile out stories into a book, it would make a fortune!

Hmmmm, now I am toying with a character concept of a totaly messed up officer who just can't seem to do anything right, but somehow luck always saves his men.

[pmulcahy11b]

in the adventure - dont forget that the officer is constantly promoted and the cmdr favourite due to his gung ho attitude and insane lack of self insight

ranger chant !!etc

The amount of times I've seen shithead officers or NCOs (or even enlisted in some cases) get undeserved promotions and decorations makes me grit my teeth. They climb the ladder -- right on top of the guys who did the real work.

[TiggerCCW UK]

The amount of times I've seen shithead officers or NCOs (or even enlisted in some cases) get undeserved promotions and decorations makes me grit my teeth. They climb the ladder -- right on top of the guys who did the real work.

Kind of like my work at the minute, but thats a rant I don't want to get started on.