OT: Targan misbehaving

[Cpl. Kalkwarf]

Yup back in the day. I liked the ham and eggs in the can, they were much better warm with some cheese. The Ham and Muther F**kers (ham and lima beans) sucked major. If one was hungry they all were not too bad, better when warmed though. Did not see any of the first MREs till after I got out. Those dehydrated ones were not too bad. I still would of taken a C-ration over them though.

[dragoon500ly]

MRCs were a rather unique. Ham and Lima beans were the utter pits, but runner up was the Meat & Potatos....sorta like eating a mix of rocks and sawdust, smeared with rancid lard.

The Egg Loaf wasn't bad....but it wasn't first pick. I still remember that aftertaste!!

I'd have to say that the Turkey Loaf and the Franks & Beans were the better choices...unless you could engineer an excuse to stop in town and hit the Lotto Totto for sausage, rye bread and a couple of beers!

[Legbreaker]

Australian Bush Etiquette

IN GENERAL
1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your Ute and trailer to the funeral.

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN Ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman It can draw attention away from your jewellery.

DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff about you on the dunny door two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place.)
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummer- bund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way...
3.. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

[atiff]

GENERAL
6. Try not to confuse your mates and your sheilas. Your mates will get offended, and the sheilas will think you've gone soft.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
5. Sock should only be worn for a maximum of four days.
- day 1 - wear as normal
- day 2 - swap feet
- days 3-4 - turn inside out, and repeat days 1-2
6. If your nose runs and your feet smell, it doesn't mean you are upside down; it means your socks are at day 5 and, despite your better judgement, they really should be changed.

WEDDINGS
5. Despite the power of your Ute, metal water tanks and 44 gallon drums are not an acceptable substitute for the traditional tin cans.

DRIVING
5. Despite good intentions, you will still look like a right gallah if you manage to total your Ute while trying to hit that roo/bunny/possum/etc.
6. Land trains always have right of way.

[Legbreaker]

6. Land trains always have right of way.

They're called "road trains" over here and you better believe they've got right of way!!!

[atiff]

That's the word I was looking for.... Forgive a poor, misguided NZer

Although it's funny how our two nations' back-countries are similar in so many ways.... Must be something to do with the good-quality beer.

[Targan]

Utes, eskies, jumpers... you guys do realise that most of our audience won't have a clue what these things are

[Cpl. Kalkwarf]

Utes, eskies, jumpers... you guys do realise that most of our audience won't have a clue what these things are

Utility vehicles or pickup truck, portable plastic cooler (for beer or soda), wool or knit sweater ( i call em woolies). The internet is a wonderful thing

[Cpl. Kalkwarf]

They eat croc burgers down there too My impression of croc meat was you had to season it pretty well, otherwise it comes off a bit bland.

Have not had Croc, but Gater tastes a bit earthy.

[Legbreaker]

Proper utes look something like these.

...portable plastic cooler ...

PLASTIC!
The internet has led you astray! A true esky (one found in the back of a ute anyway) should be steel.



Or better yet combine the two!

[Schone23666]

Proper utes look something like these.

[ATTACH]1746[/ATTACH]

I didn't know roos were such formidable obstacles....

PLASTIC!
The internet has led you astray! A true esky (one found in the back of a ute anyway) should be steel.

[ATTACH]1747[/ATTACH]

Or better yet combine the two!

[ATTACH]1748[/ATTACH]

Bet you have to wear a woolie if you're driving around with that much ice! (Unless it's your "typical" Australian summer, that is.)

[Legbreaker]

I didn't know roos were such formidable obstacles....

Well, considering they can get up to 9 feet tall....

[pmulcahy11b]

Proper utes look something like these.

I've always heard those called "ramming bumpers."


EDIT: I mistakingly believed you were talking about the bumper, not the whole machine! Sorry!

[Schone23666]

Well, considering they can get up to 9 feet tall....

And I'm gonna bet there's at least a few Aussies out there who's been behind the wheel of an Ute and recited this:

"I am the Nightrider. I'm a fuel injected suicide machine! I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller! I'm the Nightrider, baby, and we ain't never comin' back!"

Pretty sure at least a few members will know where this comes from...

[Legbreaker]

And those outback roads can be long, straight and very, very empty...
And police with Interceptors are few and far between.