Stupid GI Tricks

[Adm.Lee]

Here is an example of just how stupid the Green Machine can get.

... To the best of my knowledge, he was never appointed to command a unit again.

So, maybe not all of the Green Machine is stupid

[dragoon500ly]

So, maybe not all of the Green Machine is stupid

The Green Machine somehow achieves that difficult balance of amazing you, for better or worse, and even both together!

When I enlisted in 1977, there was a large percentage of the pre Vietnam War officer corps in place who were more concerned with their next posting than taking care of the troops they were responible for. It was so bad, that many officers choose to take staff assignments rather than go for command. What really saved the Army were the NCOs, many of whom had 2-3 combat tours under their belts and a large cadre of officers who had served in Vietnam and were now getting into the O3-O6 slots.

Then there were those special officers like Colin Powell and Tommy Franks. I had the privilage of serving under General Franks and I still remember the first time he I attended one of his NCO conferences after I had made Corporal, he simply is one of the finest officers of his generation, a true combat leader tempered with a wicked dry wit. "General Tommy" was loved and respected by his troopers.

Then you had officers like Norman Schwarzkopf, who may have been brave on the battlefield, but firmly believed that rank had its privilages and had the leadership ability of, well, in spite of all the press hoopla about "Stormin Norman" and "The Bear", his service nickname perhaps expresses the opinion of those who served under him "Fucking Pimple".

[dragoon500ly]

When the XM-1 Battalion was undergoing its field trails at Fort Hood in 1981 there was a rather amusing accident that took place. One of the tests of the new tank was to run it couple of times around Ft Hood. On the main tank trail there was a small switchback that climbed a small limestone cliff of about 15 feet...

During a night road march, under simulated NBC conditions, one driver got a little too comfortable and went to sleep. He awoke to his TC screaming at him to stop, a little too late and the tank ran right into the cliff. The loader of the tank lost a few teeth when he was slammed into his machinegun mount and the tank commander, wasn't holding on tight enough, he was thrown from the tank and impacted the cliff face and fell down, breaking both legs. By the time my tank had pulled up, the TC had managed to crawl back up on the tank, had gotten the driver by the throat and was punching him.

[dragoon500ly]

Going through my journals, it seems that I was nearby waaaayy too many accidents during my time...this is one of the more odd ones.

Night maneuver training at Hohenfels, my troop was roaming an area of broken gullies and washes on the east side of the maneuver area, our squadron commander was following the troop in his M-113. Night vision is a wonderful thing, but let's just say that the depth perception, especially on older vehicles like the 113 wasn't that great.

My tank was on the right flank of the troop and my gunner and I were taking turns on the thermal sight when we were suddenly dazzled by IR lights shining right at us. I popped up into my hatch and was illuminated by a pair of headlights on high beam, right before the 113 dropped into a medium-sized gully and rolled over.

I had my driver kill the IR headlights and switch to white light and called the accident in over the platoon net and headed towards the 113. In only a few moments, four IPM-1s were pulled up onto the edge of the gully illuminating the 113 lying on its side. By the time the first of us had made our way down the side, a dozen more tanks and 113s had pulled up.

Our squadron commander was riding with a light crew, himself, the S-2 and S-3, our FAC officer and the normal TC and driver. Of this mob, there were two dislocated shoulders, a broken arm, a broken leg, a concussion and the at least 4 broken ribs. The driver was the worse off, his hatch had popped free from its lock and slammed onto his head as the vehicle rolled over, he had a concussion, broken ribs and a broken leg.

Our squadron commander had cut his head and was dazed and confused, he kept climbing up and down each side of the gully, trailed by at least four different officers, each with a first aid kit....finally our Platoon Sergeant stopped him with a "Sit the fuck down sir! You're bleeding like a stuck pig!"

By this time, we had stabilized the driver and evac'd him from the vehicle, when the medics showed, they strapped him into a litter and then tried to walk him up the slope, where they promptly dropped him, still strapped to the litter. There was a comment "fucking medics are more used to treating the fucking clap!" and a dozen tankers grabbed the litter and took it up the wall, passing him from man to man.

Still can't get over the medics dropping that man...

[Panther Al]

For my first post I just have to pick this thread... Two good ones that no one can ever prove I had anything to do with relates back to my time in the sandbox.
One of our mort guys was moaning about going out on patrol and wish that they could get out of it. Some helpful soul helped out by - just before dusk mind - poured water all over his front slope. So what you might ask Well it seems that if you slice open enough active chemlights, say 2 cases, you get the haunted 1064. Not a lot of glow, but it was noticeable.

Other incident of note: Never piss off your TC. For if you do and you are some poor annoying sort that no one can take pity on you, he may apply icyhot to your relief bottle prior to sticking you in the gunners hole for a very long road march. And that idea was taken from when he tried to do the same to me!


Remember: The Cav isn't the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Its impossible: We invented it.

[Targan]

Welcome to the forum Panther Al. More active duty stories like those, please!

[Panther Al]

Heh. Not sure that they count as stupid tricks or not but I have a few I could share..

About a month and half into Iraq we ran out of 556 and could not get any for love of anything (a story there as well for another time). So we started using what ever we could, such as a 12 man patrol with 8 240's. Anyways, about this time my gunner and loader joined the German Army. 1hat this you might ask Well we found a trio of weapons we decided to use and furthermore decided that we could do without our helmet covers. The trio A 8mm MG42, a very beat up but good running MP40, and to my own surprise, a MP44. Not much ammo for it, true, but fun till they took them away.

[pmulcahy11b]

And we'll have fun, fun, fun till daddy takes the machineguns away...

[dragoon500ly]

My dad tells a story out of Vietnam, his platoon had engaged a detachment of VC and had requested a resupply of ammo, water and C-rats, they got the C-rats and the water, but the S-4 sent forward several cases of 7.62mm, ammo for M-14s, wouldn't have been a problem, but they had turned in their M-14s over a year ago....

[Abbott Shaull]

My dad tells a story out of Vietnam, his platoon had engaged a detachment of VC and had requested a resupply of ammo, water and C-rats, they got the C-rats and the water, but the S-4 sent forward several cases of 7.62mm, ammo for M-14s, wouldn't have been a problem, but they had turned in their M-14s over a year ago....

One would of thought the S-4 would of had this problem sorted out before hand...

Maybe he was waiting for emergency such as this to push the ammo on someone...Ugh...

[Abbott Shaull]

Heh. Not sure that they count as stupid tricks or not but I have a few I could share..

About a month and half into Iraq we ran out of 556 and could not get any for love of anything (a story there as well for another time). So we started using what ever we could, such as a 12 man patrol with 8 240's. Anyways, about this time my gunner and loader joined the German Army. 1hat this you might ask Well we found a trio of weapons we decided to use and furthermore decided that we could do without our helmet covers. The trio A 8mm MG42, a very beat up but good running MP40, and to my own surprise, a MP44. Not much ammo for it, true, but fun till they took them away.

Common there no way they would run out of 5.56 ammo...and the rest of the story why so many troops were running around with capture AKs...lol.

[Panther Al]

Common there no way they would run out of 5.56 ammo...and the rest of the story why so many troops were running around with capture AKs...lol.

You would think it would be impossible, but it was a issue with the first wave troops. 5.56 ball was ver y hard to come by (tracer on the other hand). Being a armoured cav unit (M1A2/M3) we was last in line since it was assumed we would never do dismounted ops: hence we was only given the basic draw: 210 rounds per M4. But at least we had 7.62 coming out of our ears. On my track I had some 20k rounds, being a tank has its advantages I guess. The brad guys had even more.

[Legbreaker]

I can believe it for armoured troops. Back in the day our armoured crew fired their personal weapons on exercise about once a year - they'd be throwing their issued blanks at us infantry. Mind you, we were very glad to get it as there seemed to be a serious shortage of blanks for training for some unknown reason - we'd go for days with only 1 mag while supposed to be conducting offensive actions (which chew through the ammo if done right). Most of the time we were reduced to yelling "bang".

[HorseSoldier]

One would of thought the S-4 would of had this problem sorted out before hand...

Maybe he was waiting for emergency such as this to push the ammo on someone...Ugh...

Even in peacetime I've seen crew served training scrubbed because someone ordered ammo for the M85 () 50 cal machinegun in the cupola on an M60 rather than ammo for M2s, and the two machineguns use different and incompatible links (note: no clue what genius decided M60 tank commander's MGs should use unique links, but obviously they should be dragged out behind the Pentagon and beheaded).

I've also seen a Nat'l Guard unit that was still equipped with M16A1s try to zero and qualify with M855 green tip ammo. Official DOD guidance on that combo is "war time only, and then only within 100 meters" -- from what I saw with rounds keyholing on the 25 meter zero range I'd venture to guess DOD was being generous saying you could use it effectively in combat at 100 meters.

And was on a sniper course where someone at Ft Bragg dug very deep into the very back of some ammo bunkers and issued a mess of M118 Special Ball instead of the newer and better M118 Long Range ammo -- a lot of it with some ancient red white and blue eagle logo packaging from when 118SB was competition ammo.

[pmulcahy11b]

I can believe it for armoured troops. Back in the day our armoured crew fired their personal weapons on exercise about once a year - they'd be throwing their issued blanks at us infantry. Mind you, we were very glad to get it as there seemed to be a serious shortage of blanks for training for some unknown reason - we'd go for days with only 1 mag while supposed to be conducting offensive actions (which chew through the ammo if done right). Most of the time we were reduced to yelling "bang".

And MILES I saw that only for major exercises, or the time that for some reason we got it for a joint exercise in the National Guard with the Air National Guard Security Police. And I mean MAJOR exercises, such as an NTC rotation or Team Spirit in Korea.