Stupid GI Tricks

[pmulcahy11b]

Shortly after-- I started at Allegheny in '86, so I think the map/movie episode was the following spring IMDB says the movie was released in December of '86, so it was likely in early '87, then.

After four years of not losing any cadets before graduation, in 1986 we lost 8 cadets from a combination of medical, in one case age (she was 30), and one guy who had a pronounced Grenadan accent (though he was perfectly understandable). Apparently, big losses among cadet corps were endemic that year throughout the country. I could never convince Third Region that I did not have high blood pressure, despite two physicals and dozens of BP readings. ( I got a couple of high readings at Advanced Camp because I was doing it on a badly sprained ankle.) I enlisted as soon as I graduated from high school, but we had already taken our final exams in ROTC and were only three weeks away from graduation.

It's all good. I would have made a lousy officer -- I hate politics.

[dragoon500ly]

For those of us who have been stationed at Fort Hood, I'm sure that you all remember how Manning Mountain sticks right out of the maneuver area. Highest elevation on post and, needless to say, a fairly unmistakeable landmark.

While test flying the latest AH-1S, a 6th Air Cavalry Combat Bridgade pilot flew right into the side of Manning Mountain. The crew were dinged up, but the bird was, errrr, toast.

The next day, while the accident inspection team was surving the wreck, another AH-1S, flown by the company commander, flew into Manning Mountain, less than 100 meters from the crash site!

The lesson learned form this, you should always maintain enough attitude when sight-seeing!

[Jason Weiser]

Ah,
Picture it. Fort Pickett, VA, 1995. (Yeah, a lot of my stories are either Ft. Pickett or Knox). We young impressionable ROTC cadets are out on a STRAC lane. Well, we're supposed to be reacting to a far ambush. Ok, fine, we know what to do and when to do it. Well, one thing we didn't consider There'd been a drought that summer. Everything was as dry as the damned Sahara. Well, ok, we make contact with the OPFOR, and blanks are going off everywhere. Our squad leader asks the TAC for smoke, so he pops smoke...next thing we know, there's a good sized fire (bigger than a weenie roast, we're talking Battle of the Wilderness-light) coming right at the OPFOR. They come running out screaming "We surrender, do over, do over!" We spent a good twenty minutes putting out the fire and all agreeing (including Captain Sutton, the TAC) that NOBODY was going to mention it.

That same FTX, we have another STRAC lane, I'm a fireteam leader and our job is to recon a OFPOR position. So, we get fairly close to what I am sure are the OPFOR (I'd seen them putting on grey tunics with red "shoulderboards" in the parking lot). Somebody in my fireteam turns to me and says "Hey Weiser, you sure they're the enemy"

My response I turn to him with a look of surely your mother didn't raise you this dumb and said "Gee, I dunno, why don't you go up and ask them, and I'll wait here and see what happens."

[dragoon500ly]

While on REFORGER, my cavalry squadron was getting its collective tail handed to it by the Canadians. After a week of their Leopards running circles around our M113s, We had a three day admin halt, and watched the Canucks park their tanks just down the road from us. We watched them finish their maintenance and then settle down for a well-earned nights sleep. My evil TC asked for a couple of volunteers for a little extra NBC training. Regardless of my normal values (What! Me volunteer) I raised my hand. We waited until just after 2400 hours and took a stroll upwind of the Canadas, along with two cases of CS grenades.........and the rest is history!

Never forget to sleep with your gas mask handy...the US Cavalry may be lurking nearby!!!

[pmulcahy11b]

Ahh, yes, the fun of firing an M-202A1 Flash on a dry IRL range -- and then having to call the base fire department out, who were not happy about having to fight a WP/grass fire. We did get to see the sight of flaming bats flying out of the bunker at the end of the range, though. Memories...we burned that whole damn range away, and the fire nearly got to the firing line and the trees at the other end of the range.

[Legbreaker]

It's not just junior officers who can screw things up!

While at Canungra, arguably the toughest training area in Australia (Tully is the other option), we were treated to a firepower demonstration by the training staff of the Jungle Warfare Centre - almost all of which where VERY senior NCOs and most having served in Vietnam.
All was going well, with machineguns, grenades, banks of claymores, and AT weapons tearing up the ground on the other side of the small, and extremely dry valley. Needless to say several fires very quickly broke out in the tinder dry grass and bushes and ended up burning out a fair sized chunk of the surrounding hills.

Another exercise a couple of years later resulted in the only time I've ever seen shit roll uphill!
We were several days into a week long exercise which was to culminate in a live fire company attack with Assault Pioneer and Mortar support. This particular day though was all about section attacks. This was done in two parts - a run through on the range with blanks followed a few minutes later by doing it all again with live rounds.
The light was rapidly fading as the last section went through with blanks. A rushed turn around and they were sent off with live ammo, one safety officer strolling along behind for every three men. Within about 15 seconds of the first shots being fired the panicked order to STOP! was given.

Due to the rush, and poor quality of accessories (namely the faulty zipper on the spare barrel bag for the M60), the assistant gunner had neglected to remove his blank firing attachment (BFA) from his rifle, being occupied with helping the gunner change barrels and then tying the bag up with string.

His first round lodged in the heavy BFA on his L1A1 SLR. The safety officer only noticed the bright orange chunk of metal still on the weapon as he was squeezing the trigger for a second, and likely catastrophic shot.

Turns out there were two contradictory manuals covering the use of blank ammo on a live firing range. On allowed it, and the other didn't. Everyone from the safety officers, range officers, permanent range staff, all the way up through battalion, brigade and Division copped a boot in the posterior. Ranks were lost, punishments handed out, resignations submitted.

And our hero, the poor assistant machinegunner He was found completely innocent and was actually promoted a few months later.

[dragoon500ly]

LOL!

It does seem that the "helpless" private gets away with so much!

I belive that it was General Bradley who maintained that if a Private was left alone in the middle of a desert with only a anvil for company, that if you returned within four hours, the anvil would be broken.

[Adm.Lee]

It's all good. I would have made a lousy officer -- I hate politics.

I'm told (by an enlisted friend or two) that I would have burned out from trying to do good. I suspect they didn't want to tell me that I'm too nice, and I would have been back-stabbed early and often.

[Webstral]

LOL!

It does seem that the "helpless" private gets away with so much!

I belive that it was General Bradley who maintained that if a Private was left alone in the middle of a desert with only a anvil for company, that if you returned within four hours, the anvil would be broken.

...and Joe would maintain that he had no idea how it had happened.

The toughest job in the Army is the job of the team leader. His direct report is Joe. I was so spoiled as an officer by having senior NCOs as my direct reports that it was a shock to go back to the enlisted side of the house and have specialists as my direct reports.

[dragoon500ly]

All too true. Life always seemed so much simpler when you are a Private, the moment you pick up NCO or officer rank...It's like you have become the babysitter, in charge of a couple of dozen 3-year olds, and they are armed!!!!

[bigehauser]

I was running the radio at a qualification day at the range when I was in my unit in Okinawa, Japan. Being an RTO, the job was cake. When I had the antenna, and the radio going, a new 2LT came up to me. He was about 23, or 24. I was 20 at the time. After some bullshit peppy questions that I begrudgingly answered, he said "Atta boy."

Atta boy Dude, go the fuck away. I have to go make a radio check with Range Control.

[weswood]

All too true. Life always seemed so much simpler when you are a Private, the moment you pick up NCO or officer rank...It's like you have become the babysitter, in charge of a couple of dozen 3-year olds, and they are armed!!!!

Amen, brother! My current peers think I'm crazy for not wanting any responsibility other than myself. I tell them the Corps cured me of that nonsense.

[helbent4]

Never forget to sleep with your gas mask handy...the US Cavalry may be lurking nearby!!!

Lee,

More to the point, the lesson there is also never, ever turn your back on a Yank, even if he's a friend. Especially if he's a friend!

Tony

[dragoon500ly]

Tony...

One should always keep one's friends close...and one's friends even closer!

[dragoon500ly]

During my 2nd enlistment, I was assigned as an instructor to the Armor School at Fort Knox, Kentucky. Teaching the young'ns all about the M-60A1 tank, this happened (thank gawd!) to another company on the tank range.

Some background for those who have never served on a tank.

The M-60A1 uses a ballistic computer, unlike the modern computer on the M-1, the M60's used a series of geared wheels and cams to input the correct adjustment to the gun tube. To operate, you grasped a t-handle and pushed/pulled to index the correct round. The primary reason for the elevation adjustment is that antitank rounds such as the APDS round are high speed, flat-trajectory rounds, whereas rounds such as HEAT or HEP are low speed, high-trajectory rounds. Herein lies our tale...

One young student gunner had finished his assigned rounds and while exiting the gunner's seat, snagged the handle of the computer and pulled the setting from APDS to HEP.

The new gunner, in his excitment, thought that he had checked the computer and had APDS indexed. The loader placed a APDS training round in the tube and the gunner prepared to fire at the 2,000 meter target. The instructor tank commander failed to notice that the gun tube was at a "unusually high" angle and ordered the gunner to "FIRE!"

On a nearby range, I was coaching trainees on the use of the M-85 machinegun and happened to observe the tracer of a main caliber round flying well over the berm and disappearing well down range.

Needless to say, Range Control had a MAJOR hissy fit and shut down all of the ranges while they investigated.

The training sabot impacted 13 miles downrange, striking a Range Control storage shed, penetrating the roof, several stacks of targets, the concrete slab, and burying itself 7 feet into the ground.

The trainee gunner received a major "arse-chewing". The instructor tank commander received an Article 15 from the Training Brigade Commander and went from Staff Sergeant, E-6 to Private, E-1 in about 2.5 seconds.