Stupid GI Tricks

[helbent4]

Tony...

One should always keep one's friends close...and one's friends even closer!

Lee,

Ha, true!

I don't have any personal stories, but I can pass along one second-hand about a new LT.

A friend of mine was in the local militia unit (the Royal Westminster Regiment, part of the Reserve Force Command) which practices on a regular basis in Washington State at Yakima against regular US Army and National Guard counterparts, including the Rangers based at Ft. Lewis. According to him, the Rangers were the only Enemy Force that ever kicked their butts.

While training against Rangers acting as the Enemy Force, they were ambushed while moving along a road. After breaking contact the new platoon leader's bright idea was to attack again down the same road (instead of trying to flank them) because "...they'll never expect that!"

Apparently, they did. I think he tried the same approach again using the same shaky theory, and it went about as well as the first two times.

Tony

[pmulcahy11b]

Our Bradley transition at Ft. Stewart got quite...eventful one day. Over about an area of four acres, there were almost 40 vehicles stuck in the mud at one point. A Bradley blundered into a mud pit...the platoon leader came to investigate, and got stuck...and so on. Everything from Bradleys to the mortar tracks to the M-88s and M-578s that were set in to recover them got stuck in a huge mud bog. Just about every heavy vehicle in the battalion was stuck at one point, for several hours. We lost a good two days of training from that little incident.

[dragoon500ly]

Our Bradley transition at Ft. Stewart got quite...eventful one day. Over about an area of four acres, there were almost 40 vehicles stuck in the mud at one point. A Bradley blundered into a mud pit...the platoon leader came to investigate, and got stuck...and so on. Everything from Bradleys to the mortar tracks to the M-88s and M-578s that were set in to recover them got stuck in a huge mud bog. Just about every heavy vehicle in the battalion was stuck at one point, for several hours. We lost a good two days of training from that little incident.

Had something similar happen in Germany. While on border patrol, the cavalry is required to move the reaction force off-post at least once. Our 2nd Lieutenant chose to move the reaction force to a mountain top about three klicks back from the border. The two M-113 Dragon tracks moved to the spot, and got stuck in a peat bog (on top of a mountain!!!) The M-88 was sent to pull them out, got stuck, a M-578 was sent and it got stuck, four M-1 tanks were sent and each one got stuck. Squadron sent a 5-ton wrecker up, and yup, it got stuck too.

The only way the vehicles got pulled out of the bog, was we connected each vehicle together, and looped about 200 meters of cable around a WWII bunker to anchor and pulled the them out, one by one.

Have to admit, I'd love to seen a battalion stuck in the mud!

[pmulcahy11b]

Have to admit, I'd love to seen a battalion stuck in the mud!

I kept laughing about it during the time, which pissed off my superiors to no end...sometimes you just have to go with the parade.

[dragoon500ly]

Its the only way to keep your sanity! Besides, watching the colonel screaming at the major; the major screaming at the captain; the captain screaming at the lieutenants...and then watching the pretty colors the Lieutenants face turns when the ole Platoon Sergeant turns to him and says "You do realize, sir, that there is no fucking way a 5-ton wrecker is going to pull a 70-ton tank out of the mud"

[pmulcahy11b]

That's the hardest job of platoon sergeants, First Sergeants, and Sergeants Major -- to make "suggestions" to their less-experienced and less-wise officers. Doesn't always work, though...

[dragoon500ly]

I was serving as a driver on the 36-tank when we got a new butter bar fresh from Armor Officers Basic, after observing this one on the first day, the crew's opinion was that perhaps he had taken a left turn at the Naval Academy and found himself in the wrong service.

This opinion was shared by the CO, because a converstation was overheard after day 3 of this officer's armor career...

"Lieutenant, your Platoon Sergeant is a twelve year veteran of tanks, you haven't even worn the shine off of your first pair of bars! You are to check with your Platoon Sergeant before making anymore decisions."

By the time I rotated stateside, our Lieutenant had turned into one of the best Platoon Leaders in our battalion.

[dragoon500ly]

I've always been proud to have spent a large portion of my career in the Armored Cavalry Regiments, in my humble opinion the ACRS have produced some of the finest NCOs and officers that I have ever seen. Going through my journals, I found a story of one exception...

I was stationed with 3-2 ACR in Amberg, FRG one January when we had the monthly alert sound one frozen morning. While the drivers rushed to the motor pool to get the vehicles started, I went down to the arms room to draw the crew-served and personnel weapons for my tank.

Our protocol for an alert was to dress in MOPP Level III (chemical protective suit and those thrice-damned excuses for rubber boots), flak vest, kevlar and LBE. With all of that, I loaded up with four M1911A1 pistols, one M-16A1, two M-240Cs and the body of a M-2HB and our ammo can holding the firing pin for the 105mm cannon. I then grabbed my ruck and started up the hill to the motor pool. The side walk was covered in the typical German mix of ice and sleet and crowded with troopers, trying to make their way up a 40 degree slope while wearing rubber boots with slick soles.

Our squadron's S-3 was a certain major who had earned the nickname of Major Pitch-a-Bitch. He was truely loved! There was even a betting pool in the squadron on how long he would last in a war, the longest was a bet that someone would frag him within the first five minutes!

Picture our beloved major, standing in the doorway, screaming at the heavily loaded troopers trying to make their way up an ice-covered slope...

And inside that mass of 200+ troopers, a lone trooper earned the undying gratitude of his fellows

"It's easy for you to tell us to run up the fucking hill you stupid son of a bitch!"

[dragoon500ly]

Here's another stupid GI trick...

While tankers on running their Table VI, VII and VIII gunnery programs, there is a lot of time spent on administrative hold, waiting your troops turn at the range. Needless to say, many units take this time to run the troopers into the training barracks and give them time to eat in the mess hall, take showers, PX runs, etc. And since the tanks have their automatic weapons mounted, they leave several armed guards to take care of things...

Anybody cringing in terror yet

Guard duty has to be one of the most thankless tasks that a young soldier has to endure, especially when its a 18-19 year old. And bored soldiers tend to come up with, shall we say, rather odd means to pass the time...

The M-60A1 tank had its .50-caliber machine gun mounted in a coupla and ejected the empty casings and links down the front of the tank where they tended to get caught in every possible nook and cranny. The M-85C machine gun also had a problem with misfires and you could almost always find a few dud rounds, just waiting to be put to use.

This trick involves tracer rounds, a book of matches and a P-38 can opener. The bored trooper pulls the bullet portion out of the case, making sure to spread the lips of the opening as much as possible and pours about 1/3 of the powder out to the fender. You take your trusty can opener and use the point to pierce the copper cover over the tracer element, you then reinsert the bullet, point first, into the cartridge and pour gun powder over the top of the tracer...strike a match to the powder and watch the flash, hear the pop and watch the bullet, with its tracer lit...go up about 70 meters or so into the air....and hope that it doesn't land on a dry brush, Range Control is never amused by range fires.

[Legbreaker]

Here in Australia mucking about with ammo like that (or even just having a few bits of expended brass in your pocket) would get the offending soldier up on a charge quicker than they could blink.
I'd hate to imagine what sentence screwing with the tracers would get you, but it wouldn't be pleasant. Throw in starting a fire and it's likely to involved gaol time and dishonourable discharge.

[TiggerCCW UK]

Its a similar situation here in the UK Leg. Every time we were on the range we'd be lined up afterwards, reminded that it was a criminal offence to remove rounds or brass from a range, be given a chance to return any we had and then do a declaration to the OC or range officer (whoever was the senior rank) stating 'I have no live rounds or empty cases in my posession sir/sgt etc"

As far as I know this was the case across the UK, but that may have only happened in NI (or with NI units) due to our 'unique' security situation.

[Legbreaker]

It was the same in every unit I was in. The only (minor) difference we had to the UK seems to be the wording of the declaration: "I have no live rounds or range produce in my possession, sir!"
You could have half a dozen AT rounds in your back pocket up until that declaration, but if anything (even one expended 7.62mm casing or a piece of link from a machinegun belt) was found afterwards, you were in SERIOUS shit.

[perardua]

It's the same on any UK range, whether it be blank or live firing. As TiggerCCW said, at the end of every range or exercise you line up, are reminded that it is a civil and military offence to have ammunition in your possession, given a few minutes to check your pockets, pouches and helmet lining, then the RCO's assistants come down the line checking each of you in turn as you give the declaration (precise wording depending on what you have been using). After everything has given the declaration, including the range staff, the RCO then says something along the lines of 'if, upon returning to your home, barracks or place of work you do find any of the said items, hand them in to a responsible NCO and nothing more may be said'.

[Legbreaker]

This one (to my shame) is one of my own stupid things.
While augmenting the permanent training platoons manpower at the Infantry School, Singleton, we picked up the trick of cracking open a few blanks and pouring the powder down the barrel. The result is a much louder bang on the first shot which sounded much more like a real gunshot - great for the openning salvo against the exhausted trainees. The critical detail of this is we weren't issued with BFA's (black firing attachment) for our L1A1 SLRs and had to hand cock between shots.

A few months later I was enemy party for an JNCOs course on small unit tactics. Casting my mind back I remembered the trick with the additional powder, ripped off the BFA, threw in a few blanks worth of powder and replaced the BFA while waiting in ambush.

The first shot was satisfyingly loud and violent. Stunned and deafened, it took me a moment to register what had happened - the additional powder in the barrel, and tiny hole in the BFA for the gas the escape had forced the breach back and body of the weapon to partly open. Snapping the rifle closed again with some difficulty, I continued on firing in a daze.

A few hours later and it comes time to pack up an head for home. To save time we usually stripped and cleaned our weapons while in the back of the truck. Unfortunately the rifle would not open - corporals, sergeants, warrant officers all tried and failed. The force of the blast had completely jammed it and it had to be sent off to the armourers for repair. Fortunately for me nobody worked out what the real cause was....

[dragoon500ly]

It's normal to do the "no brass, no ammo sergeant!" as well. Which makes the National Guard experience that much more difficult. To save wear & tear on the NG tanks, they often use Regular Army tanks for their range practice over the weekend.

Monday morning, when you went to the motor pool to check the tanks, you could always count on finding 2-3 main gun rounds, at least 1,000 rounds of machine gun ammo, not to mention smoke grenades for the launchers, smoke grenades, artillery simulators and a wide assortment of blank ammo, all ready for use.