Stupid GI Tricks

[rcaf_777]

Our Captain would come up on the radio net and ask the platoon their ETA and was assured by the Lieutenant that he was five minutes out. After almost an hour of watching this, the Captain comes up on the net and orders the platoon to halt. He then asks for the location of the platoon. After the Lieutenant gives a grid (32km off)

I have a similar "virtual" story. When I was in ROTC, one of my classmates was having a terrible time with learning map-grids. Our instructor pretty much had to repeat everything at least twice for him. A week or so later, that guy & I went to see "Platoon"* (that should give you an idea how long before GPS this was). During the scene in which the LT is fumbling with the map and radio under fire, I got to poke poor Steve in the ribs. A lot. He nearly punched me in the face!

I don't understand, I am a Boy Scout Leader and I teach my Scouts map and compass and all my Scout can get us from point A to B and find their spot on the map, and give me the grid. One of the gun-ho boys ask if I could show them how to call in Artillery, which I declined

[cavtroop]

I don't understand, I am a Boy Scout Leader and I teach my Scouts map and compass and all my Scout can get us from point A to B and find their spot on the map, and give me the grid. One of the gun-ho boys ask if I could show them how to call in Artillery, which I declined

Some people just have the damnedest time with orienteering - I am pretty good at it, but there are others to whom it just doesn't 'click' at all, that lightbulb never goes on.

[Dog 6]

There was the same sort of story going around in Desert Storm, except it was a camel instead of a water buffalo. Stories like that probably come out of every war.

I shot a camel in the ass with a 120mm boot round in the storm. After months of mre's it tasted good.

[dragoon500ly]

I don't understand, I am a Boy Scout Leader and I teach my Scouts map and compass and all my Scout can get us from point A to B and find their spot on the map, and give me the grid. One of the gun-ho boys ask if I could show them how to call in Artillery, which I declined

Think of it this way...you are a green 2nd Lieutenant, riding a tank for your first field exercise. Now tank rides have to be experienced to be believed, they pitch and roll worse than any navy ship, (you have no seat belts and you might have a hand hold), you are wearing a poorly fitted CVC (crew communications helmet) trying to monitor the platoon and company freqs and direct your driver (gee isn't it strange how the command tank always has a new driver), not to mention the stink and heat of the exhaust washing over you whenever you least expect it. You are trying to fold, unfold, refold your map case, trying to watch for landmarks. All too many times I have witnessed green lieutenants trying to use a compass while sitting on top of a tank (didn't learn about compasses and large masses of metal at West Point,
did we).

And for added entertainment, your tank platoon is fresh off of gunnery, and the stink of ammonia-based propellent is lingering, and since its day 4 of the FX...the chance to bath, has not been recent...breakfast was an MRE and the lethal combination of BO, diesel exhaust, ammonia, poor food and the rough ride leaves you about to toss your cookies! Nothing gets the ole platoon going like watching the new lieutenant puking his guts out over the side of the ole turret!!!

And sitting right next to you, in his loader's hatch is your evil loader (satanic bastard!) With a mouth full of ole Redman and a plastic bottle that he is spitting in...strapped right there where you can watch it out of the corner of your eye, where you can enjoy the pleasure of watching his "residue", splash around the inside....

Sucks to be a green 2nd Lieutenant...

[dragoon500ly]

Got to thinking about bad designs and came across this journel entry.

During the Cold War, US tanks (M-60A1s) stationed close to the border carried a basic load of 50 rounds of main gun ammo, especially those units close to the Fulda Gap. At the time of this incident, the mix was 40 rounds of APDS and 10 rounds of HEAT.

Now the 105mm HEAT round looks sort of like a potato masher grenade right out of WWII, a flat nose clyinder with a pipe sticking out of the end. This pipe housed the point-detonating fuse and the fuse itself was protected with a screw on cap. Normally the round is loaded as is, since the inside of the cap has a small point designed to impact on the nose of the fuze and start the reaction. The screw cap had one flaw. Over time, the paint holding it in place starts to crack and the movement of the tank causes the cap to unscrew.

The main gun rounds were routinely downloaded for inspection as well as prior to any gunnery (being replaced with practice rounds). Part of the download process was for the loader to test the cap and if he found it loose, to pass it out to the tanker standing next to the turret, to be transported to a blast pit where an EOD specialist would refix the screwcap and paint it again.

A simple process, performed 2-3 times a year and always preceeded with a safety briefing so everyone is on the same track.

We had a brand new kid, straight out of Armor Basic. He was assigned to my tank as the loader, (I was a new PFC, driver), but due to his inexperience, I was inside the tank, removing the rounds, and passing them up to my tank commander to be handed down to the ground and moved to the ammo bay.

I found a HEAT round with a loose cap and passed it up to the TC, advising him, and he repeated back to me "Loose Cap!" He handed it down to our new man, and I heard the repeat "Loose Cap!" I was travesing the turret to get to a hull rack when my TC dove, head first through the loader's hatch, at almost the same moment, there was an explosion and the tank rocked sideways.

By the time I had helped my TC back up through the hatch, the rest of the platoon had gathered in stunned silence.

According to my TC, our new man had accepted the HEAT round and stepped back, as my TC started to turn back to the tank, he saw the new guy, take the round by the base and ram the projectile into the concrete to reset the screwcap, at this point my TC dove for cover. Since the screwcap only has to travel a quarter of an inch to impact the fuze....

Hell of a way to give your life for your country....

[atiff]

What can I say, he was a great First Sergeant, it's just that every sentence he ever uttered had f**k in it!

"Is there any the f**k else you would like to f**king add Captain"

"Lieutenant, I've seen some stupid f**king mistakes in my f**king 32 years of service. But this f**king takes the cake, Sir!"

I once heard a man (non-military - a farmer) make a complete sentence with only the F word:

"F**king f**ker's f**ked"

[dragoon500ly]

It's always amazing all of the things that you learn in the military, not just the wild parties, but the utter depths that your native language is capable of. Not to mention the ability to learn the major local insults within 72-hours of arriving at your new duty station!

[mikeo80]

I shot a camel in the ass with a 120mm boot round in the storm. After months of mre's it tasted good.

Not sure what a boot round is, But IMHO, shooting a camel with 120mm ANYTHING,......there can NOT be much left of the camel!!

[Targan]

Not sure what a boot round is, But IMHO, shooting a camel with 120mm ANYTHING,......there can NOT be much left of the camel!!

Slang for sabot maybe I know that sabot is French for shoe.

[weswood]

It's always amazing all of the things that you learn in the military, not just the wild parties, but the utter depths that your native language is capable of. Not to mention the ability to learn the major local insults within 72-hours of arriving at your new duty station!

The problem is unlearning that way of speaking. I've been a civilian for damn near 20 years and have to consiously whatch what I say. Specially in church!

[copeab]

The Germans, while not as bayonet-happy as the French (is anybody more bayonet-happy than the French), believed that the bayonet would overpower the rifle.

The Japanese, at least through WWII, were quite bayonet-happy, as the common soldier considered their bayonet their katana. Worth mentioning that Japanese bayonets were quite large, even for the period.

[helbent4]

What can I say, he was a great First Sergeant, it's just that every sentence he ever uttered had f**k in it!

"Is there any the f**k else you would like to f**king add Captain"

"Lieutenant, I've seen some stupid f**king mistakes in my f**king 32 years of service. But this f**king takes the cake, Sir!"

Lee,

Hey, sounds like a hell of a guy!

This is the strip in "Terminal Lance" that the comments in the video referenced:

http://terminallance.com/comics/2010-09-27-Strip_68_Fuckin_What_web.jpg

I think this also qualifies as a "stupid GI trick":

http://terminallance.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/Sgt-Joe-Bartling-tattoo-768x1024.jpg

Because it was done in response to this strip:

http://terminallance.com/comics/2010-03-16-Strip_21_Lament_of_the_Artist_Recruit_web.jpg

Tony

[HorseSoldier]

The Germans, while not as bayonet-happy as the French (is anybody more bayonet-happy than the French), believed that the bayonet would overpower the rifle. They also believed that the true man-killer was artillery and machine guns.

The Germans were right.

So when the Germans ran into the 2nd and 3rd Divisions of the AEF, there are so many accounts from both sides of how American rifle fire at unheard of ranges, slaughtered attacking Germans.

Except when guys were ordered to advanced in open order across No Mans Land (which the Germans had gotten away from by 1918) the basic lesson or rifle marksmanship from World War One was the same as World War Two -- guys with individual weapons couldn't reliably acquire, much less hit, an enemy past 300 or maybe 400 meters. What everyone found out during WW1 was that unless the enemy was obliging enough to cooperate with you killing him by walking slowly towards you in a straight line, all the emphasis on long range marksmanship training was just a waste of time. This is why the Germans got so big into developing the Maschinenkarabiner (which evolved, terminology wise, into the Sturmgewehr) during the interwar years. The same logic drove the US development of 276 Pedersen and the Soviet research into a .25" caliber intermediate-ish sort of round in the same timeframe.

[Targan]

The problem is unlearning that way of speaking. I've been a civilian for damn near 20 years and have to consiously whatch what I say. Specially in church!

You mean like remembering to say "Amen" instead of "f*ckin' A!"

[HorseSoldier]

The Air Force did this in Iraq:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/8f/USAF_M113_APC_at_Camp_Bucca,_Iraq.jpg

Near as I can tell, it's an APC used to quell prison riots or something not sure though, little info out there.

Maybe they had to use the claymores because no one would issue them a crew served for the TC's hatch . . .

I wonder if they tested the claymore rigs there -- I was always told that a sand bag backing was preferred to prevent damage to the backing armor on a 113. I'd also think a test shot would blow their brackets to smithereens.